You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

Sugar-free sugar cookies

Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

To my story below, I now remember why she never took me seriously... While I was staring at her erect nipples she asked me if I was gay, I replied "uhuh", to everything as I was too busy looking at what I could have grabbed that day... Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Today she looks uh... less appealing in more ways than one.... but lets not go into details, I need to get something out here... FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! In 40 years at my deathbed: The only thing I regret is... is... DAMN! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can... Yes actually, it's my new LCD Mirror Screen Protector for my iPhone.

I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!