Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

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A man is pulled over by a police officer and a conversation takes place: Man: What's the problem officer? Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone. Man: No sir, I was going 65. Wife: Oh Steven. You were going 80. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light. Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light! Wife: Oh Steven, you've known about that tail light for weeks. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt. Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car. Wife: Oh Steven, you never wear your seat belt. Man: Shut your mouth, woman! Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way? Wife: No, only when he's drunk.

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Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

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- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

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Sickman Fraud: Hmm you look remotely alike my mother... Woman: Uh? Sickman Fraud: Yes fucking you should das probably give me some release, die reason to resist me is not necessary, you envy my pingas and I can assign it to you if you put on this ugly wig and yell "bad boy" whilzt I das fukte das rassenhol... Woman: OMG SICK! Moral: The father of modern psychology? Seriously?! I was going for a bachelor in psychology studies, but its just disgusting.

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How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

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I'm desperate, you'll do.

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You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

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-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

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You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

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Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

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Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

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Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

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Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

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Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

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guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...*goes into the guys restroom with her*....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

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does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

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Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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