At Barlevania: Man: Yo lady... mind if I hang around? Woman: Uh... wait... there is a weird song outside... Man: Yeah but you will you... yeah... its getting louder! *nana nanananana nana* Man: What the hell is that? Woman: No idea, its getting louder! *NANA NANANANANANA KATAMARI DAMACY NANA NANANANANANANA KATAMERUUUUU! DAMACY DAMACY*¨¨ *Both the man and the woman gets rolled up in a spirit ball by the prince, in no time the bar gets rolled up as well* Dun dun dun dun dun dun Du du dun dun STAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAAAAAR LIGHT! King of all cosmos: Eh.. buenos dias! That means good day in Spanish the king thinks... the king likes languages... Eh? What is this insignificant thing you rolled up? Earth? The king does not like it... it feels too earthy! To humanny and stuff... *The king of all cosmos throws the earth away towards outer space* "ROLLED UP EARTH HAS BECOME PLANET EARTH!" Moral: Katamari Damacy taught us all that it does not have to make sense to be funny, but its not a good idea to for anyone to hit on anything while the planet is being rolled up...

boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

Man: (in indian accent) HELLO I AM VERY RICH INDIAN MAN, I HAVE COLLECTION OF EXPENSIVE CARS AND LIMOS, I TAKE LADY HOME AND MAKE SWEET LOVE TO HER, THEN GIVE HER LOTSA JEWELS AND MONEY! Woman: Cool ill come home with you. Man: Uh... can you lend me money for the bus?

Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

-hey, come here a minute.

Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!