Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

thumb_up thumb_down +43

-hey, come here a minute.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

thumb_up thumb_down -99

Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

thumb_up thumb_down +76

Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Male: Baby, I am God's gift to this earth! Female: Well, if I take a receipt up to Heaven, can I exchange you for someone better?

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

thumb_up thumb_down +55

guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

thumb_up thumb_down +27

-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -19

This is what Nero calls for his "destroyer" not sure if I should consider that flattering, he thinks so anyways, he just wants to say, that why the fuck are people suddenly scared of looooooooooooooooooooooong messages on the interbewbs. "No leave it be, interbewsbs sounds prefect" Nero The Hero "FINAL FRESH" What Nero And Vagina shouts? :)) Something is off here but he has passed out again :)) "God woman, you suck at pop cultural quotes" Nero, the fucklord (omg, he is crazy, gotta love this guy) "thanks" Nero the grateful. "I Ask you if you know who I am by saying "ITS ME MARIO and you still do not know what name is? THe red plumber Nintendo HIS NAME IS MARIO!?" Nero The (fucking annoyed at me) :)) Sorry guys just having fun. "THOU SHALL NEVER APOLOGIzE FOR THE WORD OF NERO" -Nero insists, I mean the LORD OF DARKNESS INSISTS "Can we fucking stop making quotes of me now? All the girls are laughing at me, WHY AM I SO DEFEATED!" Last quote added without his consent

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

thumb_up thumb_down -115

your boobs are bigger than my nose

thumb_up thumb_down +30

I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!