"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

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men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

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Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

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Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

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At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

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Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

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There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

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Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

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Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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HELLO I AM BORAT! MISHIMUSH! I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE THE MOVIE OF MAKING THE RAPE OF THE AMERICAN WOMAN! WILL YOU HELP US? Woman: NO!!!!!! Oh... ok Mishimush! We make the other Movie then, BORAT THE CRUSHINGS OF AMERICA.

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Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

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Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

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Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

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Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!