roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

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Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

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Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

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Now this one is for the ladies: Girl: Hey there Alexa! Long time no see! Woman: Indeed dear, so... do you still do YOGA!? Girl: Nah I stopped after the YOGA FIRE! lessons and the YOGA TELEPORT! Lessons where too expensive... Woman: too bad! Can you still bend your legs behind your back though? ;) It looked so sexy... Girl: Oh well, as long as you can still do you YOGA STRETCH tongue you can come home with me and teach me a thing or two since I am just 19 and you are a 35 year old couger... if you know what I mean ;) Woman: Sure! I can teach you a lot of lusty immoral things ;). Conclusion: Girl: Not there... its hurts. Woman: Just relax girl, and it will work... Girl: YES OH YES!!! Moral: To show that my stories also support the ladies ;) Hey... its called the ANTIPICKUPLINE after all right?

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-hey, come here a minute.

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I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

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the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

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Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

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Man enters bar and does a lot of magic tricks, all the prettiest women are extremely impressed: Girls: WOW! We would do anything to see more of that! Guy: Uh... damn I forgot what to do after this... Moral: Screw the game man, its a stupid book, just be your moronic self and someone will like you for the lovely disgusting moron that you are... by the way you lost the game :D

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

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hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

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- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

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Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

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Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

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Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!