men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Me: Have you ever dreamed, of owning a thousand sparkly gems? Woman: No why? You got some? Me: No, but now but now we can dream together t under the sparkling stars under the sky... Moral: Hey, she said aww... And touched my hand before chatting with her friend... and as I turned my hand... was a piece of paper, with a written number...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

thumb_up thumb_down -15

4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -65

girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

thumb_up thumb_down -81

Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

thumb_up thumb_down -97

M: Hey bitch i'll give you £50 to touch my penis. f: Simon thats an afterschool detention M: SCORE!

thumb_up thumb_down -161

-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

thumb_up thumb_down

Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Hello children! :D

thumb_up thumb_down -24

-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

thumb_up thumb_down -112

"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

thumb_up thumb_down +69

-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!