Guy enters a bar: Guy: I have some really bad self-esteem and would really apreciate if someone would give me a chance and... Gorgeous woman: Hey, I would love to get to know you, and maybe take you home and... Guy: WHAT? THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME! I CANT HANDLE IT! HEEEEEEEEEEELP! (Runs out of bar screaming)

HELLO I AM BORAT! MISHIMUSH! I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE THE MOVIE OF MAKING THE RAPE OF THE AMERICAN WOMAN! WILL YOU HELP US? Woman: NO!!!!!! Oh... ok Mishimush! We make the other Movie then, BORAT THE CRUSHINGS OF AMERICA.

Wow! You know, your eyes are like blueberries, wait, can I actually, can I actually, I'm kinda hungry, can I, can I have them?

Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

Put the lotion on the skin!

-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!