My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

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Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

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Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

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men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

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Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

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Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

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Wow! You know, your eyes are like blueberries, wait, can I actually, can I actually, I'm kinda hungry, can I, can I have them?

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hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

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-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

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girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

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Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

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-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

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What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!