Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

thumb_up thumb_down -135

Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

thumb_up thumb_down -175

Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

thumb_up thumb_down +94

You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

thumb_up thumb_down -31

My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

thumb_up thumb_down -101

Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Me: Have you ever dreamed, of owning a thousand sparkly gems? Woman: No why? You got some? Me: No, but now but now we can dream together t under the sparkling stars under the sky... Moral: Hey, she said aww... And touched my hand before chatting with her friend... and as I turned my hand... was a piece of paper, with a written number...

thumb_up thumb_down

Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Hello children! :D

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!