Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

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In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: USA discovers they do not have nuclear weapons and then gives them nuclear reactors?

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Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

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-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

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Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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Man enters bar and does a lot of magic tricks, all the prettiest women are extremely impressed: Girls: WOW! We would do anything to see more of that! Guy: Uh... damn I forgot what to do after this... Moral: Screw the game man, its a stupid book, just be your moronic self and someone will like you for the lovely disgusting moron that you are... by the way you lost the game :D

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-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

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Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

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why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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Male: Baby, I am God's gift to this earth! Female: Well, if I take a receipt up to Heaven, can I exchange you for someone better?

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

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-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!