- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

Guy texting random girl: u must b wearing space pants cuz ur as is out of this world no im wearing baseball pants cuz my as is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence

Boy: Wanna go see a movie. Girl: Which movie. Boy: Texas Chainsaw Massicure. Girl: What is it about. Boy: Unicorns and Rainbows. Girl: Let's go!

If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

M: Woah I am drunk baby... But I gotta say... you`re the hottest bitch in town! B: Bark bark!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book