- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

Whatever I'll just date myself.

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

If your happy and you know it clap your hands!! What if I lost my hands in Nam while I was singing this song and a plane killed my friend causing me to ct off both of my hands?

Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

will you marry me

Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... door slams

Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book