Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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Put the lotion on the skin!

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Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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One hot summer night in 1960, Steve had his first date with Susie. He went to pick her up and her mom answered the door. She invited him in, and asked him what they planned to do on their date. Steve replied that they’d probably see a movie then get a burger. Susie’s mom said, “Well, Susie really likes to screw.” Steve said, “Huh?” Her mom said, “Yes, she loves it. She could probably screw all night.” “Okay, thanks!” replied Steve, mentally rearranging his plans for the night. A few minutes later Susie came downstairs and they left on their date. About a half hour later Susie came running back in the house, her clothes disheveled, and yelled: “Mom, it’s called the TWIST! The name of the goddamn dance is the TWIST!”

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Husband: I will always get breakfast and newspapers in bed AT 5:30 baby, but not wake me when you wake up at 4:30

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Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

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I know what you guys are all thinking when you read my crazy stuff below: "That guy is crazy as fuck" My reply? Yeah I admit it, I get crazy as fuck when I and two or more ladies fuck for more than eight hours, my life is so sad. Anyway... I am chillaxing again, getting old here, not sure if I can go another round, soon I am gonna have to lie down and let the ladies do some work too... Wish me luck girls! Guys go fuck yourself its all you got. Anyway, I saw this famous book today: ALPHA MAN: LEADER OF MEN. I Lolled, someday I am gonna write ALPHA MAN: LEADER OF WOMEN TO YOUR BED... YOu might learn something girls... Where I live and stuff ;) You see I dont even lead them here anymore, they come to me! AND IN RETURN I COME IN THEM! AND THEY COME FOR ME! AND WITH EACH OTHE... ...Bitch opened the window (not my wife, our bitch) I am sweaty, the bedsheets are wet and... Rebecca is nice and all, cutest girl ever loved anal, but damn she is stupid. Sorry Harris, but you know your sistah has more curves than a racetrack... Harris if you ever read this, stop calling me SON all the time my bro from another ho. My point Harris, is that regardless of your sistah being smart maybe just pretending to be stupid, a girl with the face of an angel and the body of the goddess of sex dont need to use her brains DAD! YOU KNOW DAD! I JUST FUCKED YOUR SISTER DAD! CAN YOU HEAR HOW WRONG IT IS! YOU CANT CALL ME SON LIKE DAT!

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

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- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

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I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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