Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

Mario: Ey princess, wanna make the sexy time eh? Princess: With a fat Italian plumber? HELL NO! Bowser: MWAHAHAHA I AM SO GONNA RAPE YOU WITH MY SPINY DICK! Princess: HELP HELP MARIO I WILL DO ANYTHING JUST SAVE ME! NO BOWSER PLEASE DO NOT PUT IT IN THERE! ITS TOO TIGH... Shigeru Miyamoto: So this is how I wanted to make the Super Mario series... sexy eh? Girl: DISGUSTING! Shigeru Miyamoto: Well what do you think about the idea with Monkey Dong and the other girl tha...HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

H3LL0 Girls, You need some THERAPEY? Call Nero The Moralman For A qualified TheRapist. The number? You wont get it, so then you will go mad with lust and need therapey Moral: Ooooh... I says ANTI Pickup line... Whats that? More Moral: Nothing is immoral! Everything is Moral MORAL MAN!

-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

Sorry to take up space, but this is simply my reply to the vile threats to that person whose line starts with "what did you say little bitch", know that he has no idea what he is talking about, and is possibly a simple mental case. Seriously, who the hell are you? And even so, who the hell do you think you are? Yeah with your terrible lack of discipline there is no way in hell you are or would become a soldier. You know very well that the navy would never waste its resources on helping your selfish and childish acts of revenge (or whatever you seek) Death threats will get you nowhere, and you can fully threaten me, but know that I live in Norway, and you can trace me and send your whole unit (if you had one) but by then you would solely be responsible for acts of war and be properly executed for international treason. Know your place civilian, we fight to protect you, do not shame us with your childish vendetta. Drill Sergeant Axel "Strength" Godøy. Aka "Moral Man" Ps: Threaten anyone again, and I will fill a full report and assure that your IP is banned from this network, you are shaming your people, your country and all that fight to defend world peace, try me out and see, give me that luxury.

Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

Morals, greatest weakness revealed!: Doctor doctor! I cannot succeed at... pant pant *shorts shorts* *whine wheeze* at... At... AAAAAARGUUUUUU!!! FUCKING DOCTOR I CANNOT SUCCED AT... THE PAAAAAYNE! MAX PAYNE! BUHUHUHUHU!!! THE PAAAAINYE I CANNOT...SUCCEED AT... Doctor: At what? Shutting the fuck up? AND LEAVE THE HORSHEHEAD NETWORK? Moral: XD I cannot stop laughing, I am crying fucking tears of laughter :)) I was completely not gonna type that but then it spontaneously suddenly idea get! XD Moral: Green thumbs for self irony, this comment shall get one green thumbs ups, and it shall one green thumbs ups get, and the number of thumbs ups shall be one, as one be the number of thumbs ups. Moral: And I have not even said anything Moral: I deserve that green thumb this time! I earned it! SHAAAME YOU DARE SPOILMY GREEN THUMB OF VICTOLY WITH YOUR RED THUMB! SHAAAME! BUILD THE WALL OF FAILURE! FASTER STRONGER HARDER! I CURSE SHAME UPON YOUR SHAME AND BATHE IT IN THE WATER AND FLAMES OF SHAAAAAME! ALL BEFORE I SPrinkle it with small bits of sugar... AND SHAAAAME! LEAVE THE GREEN THUMB ALONE!!!! BUAHUAHAHA! LEAVE IT ALONEEEEEEEEE! Moral: HEEEY HEY! WHERE ARE YOU GOING WITH THAT GREEN THUMB! I SAID ONE GREEN THUMB! ONE! AND ONLY MINE! SHAME!!!!

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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