Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

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Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

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Young man: Hey I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so I wondered if you wanna come home and have hardcore sex and... Mature woman: HOW CAN YOU SAY SUCH A THING! IM YOUR MOTHER! Young man: As I said mom... I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so... Moral: Hentai keeping families together since forever...

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Man: Hey, I write the most perverted mini stories on ANTIPICKUPLINE ;) Any woman: ME SO HONNY ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME! Moral: Hentai keeping peop... never mind... not into animated cartoons DO YOU THINK I AM A PERVERT OR SOMETHING?.. cant help it that my mother looks like a damn hot pornstar though...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

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My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

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Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

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Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

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My therapist says I should meet new people.

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Roses are red violets are blue this isn't a poem I'm a botanist.

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Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

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Girl: Do you know any good movies? Boy: Snakes on a plane Girl: Whats it about? Boy: It's about Horses.. on a boat.

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

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I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

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cockface

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jack sanders

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!