the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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I'm desperate, you'll do.

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On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

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Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

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Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

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"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

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Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

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F: I AM SO DRUNK AND HORNY I COULD FUCK ANYONE M: Hey, wanna fuck? F: I SAID ANYONE.. Not anything... Heck I got standards! Moral: Heck she has standards! Her dog is someone!

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Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

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why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

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Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

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(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!