Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

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Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

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(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

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Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

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Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

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Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

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A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

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Whatever I'll just date myself.

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I'm desperate, you'll do.

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

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Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!