My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

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He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

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he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

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Excuse me, is the red bike outside yours? Because it is parking illegally, I'll have to take your details so I can report you to the authorities...

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

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You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

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-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

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-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

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Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you Every single day Every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I'll be watching you

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Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

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male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

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Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!