my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

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-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

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Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

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Man enters bar: Man: I AM MORAL MAN! My spear shall cut down the zealots, and my shield shall block (yeah you wish) be used as a additional weapon to push people down so I can thrust my spear even deeper into their hatred filled hearts! Woman: WOW! Moral: This pickup line wont work of course... not for you you aren`t the one and only EPIC: MORAL MAN! ;) Aka Epic man to those that still fail to understand that my morals are morals for a new order! No more religious wars, no more pedophiles, no more hatecrime... stand by me, and I shall not only speak for you, but also fight for you!

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Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

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sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

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Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

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Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

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I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

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Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

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There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

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Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

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Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

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Guy enters a bar: Guy: I have some really bad self-esteem and would really apreciate if someone would give me a chance and... Gorgeous woman: Hey, I would love to get to know you, and maybe take you home and... Guy: WHAT? THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME! I CANT HANDLE IT! HEEEEEEEEEEELP! (Runs out of bar screaming)

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Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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