Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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(in a bar) Guy: Know how to play any instruments? Girl: No...but I wanna learn. Can you teach me? Guy:Sure..ever heard of the skin flute? Girl: (unaware) No. Can you teach me to play it? Guy: Sure, I can. :) (The girl leaves with the guy as he looks over his shoulder and winks with the thought of getting laid)

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In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: USA discovers they do not have nuclear weapons and then gives them nuclear reactors?

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

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You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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free candy....

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I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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My therapist says I should meet new people.

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did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

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I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

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Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

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Boy : Gurle: hi

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You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!