Are you from Jamaica because I'm from Jamaica and I think I recognize you? Your ugly as hell by the way.

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Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

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My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

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Man: Wow girl, you are so hot you remind me of my wife when she was young.. wanna come to my place for a quick one before she comes back? Girl: Sigh... this AGAIN? I told you! If you are gonna get that drunk, get out of our home and go to a bar daddy!

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hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

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boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

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Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

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guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

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Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

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And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

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-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

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girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

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Eat me, I'm organic!

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Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

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Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

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-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!