-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

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Man and woman in bed: Man: You know I am somewhat a deviant right? Woman: Sure but I am drunk so lets just do it.. Man: I AM SO GONNA BANG YOU! (Man throws dynamite at woman) Woman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU Moral: BANG INDEED... case closed.

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did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

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Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

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Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

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Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

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-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

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-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! *Woman slams man with baseball bat* Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

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Eat me, I'm organic!

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hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

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Boy : Gurle: hi

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

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- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

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And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

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Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!