If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

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guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

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Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

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Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

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Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

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i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

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At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

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Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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Guy texting random girl: *u must b wearing space pants cuz ur a*s is out of this world *no im wearing baseball pants cuz my a*s is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

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Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

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Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

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-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

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will you marry me

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And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

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Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

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Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!