Man: *Pokes Woman* Ouch! You burned me! Woman: How did I burn you? Man: Because you're just THAT hot. ;) Woman: *Pokes Man* Well it's too bad you're not.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

thumb_up thumb_down -22

i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

thumb_up thumb_down +137

The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

thumb_up thumb_down +119

Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Every kiss begins with K ;) Yeah to bad ugly begins with U

thumb_up thumb_down -19

me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

thumb_up thumb_down +65

I am typing it here for exposure which means I am no sellout because I admitt I sell out, just like I did not crash because I admitt I did. This one is real: Me meeting my childhood friend (a girl, with huge boobs... Which she had reduced because back problems... Fucking reduction pointless invention!) Tina: You where and will always be like a brother to me Nero. Me: Aww... Well... Tina: A fucking sexy brother back then... Well and now! Me: O_O. I am married, so I called my wife and asked if its okay, she said can I join? And well, why do you think I am so wired now... ROUND TWO... F*CK!

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

thumb_up thumb_down +54

My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

thumb_up thumb_down +105

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!