- Anti-Pickup Line

I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

Man seriously? Free Samsung? And that Fiat, I been wondering how much you want for it, not that i got it but I was considering buying it sometime. Son, I got no idea what brand this piece of shit car is, but the wheels are cool. No really, if you mean it, ill take that Fiat man, man, ill kiss your feet, ill do it, no really I mean Really? I mean really really? Man If you mean it, ill get over there right away, and man, you can have dunno, bad times, hell ANYTHING Okay? But if you are just messing with me, you can go fuck yourself and your phone man!

-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

To my story below, I now remember why she never took me seriously... While I was staring at her erect nipples she asked me if I was gay, I replied "uhuh", to everything as I was too busy looking at what I could have grabbed that day... Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Today she looks uh... less appealing in more ways than one.... but lets not go into details, I need to get something out here... FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! In 40 years at my deathbed: The only thing I regret is... is... DAMN! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

For you that think your family are too overprotective when it comes to sex, this was my story as a teenager. Mom: Hi guys! Me and ladyfriend: Hi mom! This is my ladyfriend: (insert your name if you are female) Dad: Woho! Good catch son! claps me on shoulder Mom: Dont worry, you guys just go right up and "study" eh ;) eh ;) and we are gonna put the music REALLY LOUD down here! And there is no need to be ashamed of stains nor anything. Dad: No we understand ;) ;) ;) Girl: Uh... you invited me just to study right? Me: Believe it or not I did... Dad: Yeah you two young ones go study! Remember condom though! ;) Girl: Axel! WTF?! leaves Me: Mom.. Dad! WTF!? I dont know anything about algebra (not even to this day, and I am almost 30) Dad: Algebra eh? ;) Next time give her a good "algebra". Me: Mom tell that moron tha... Mom: Relax son, I understand that you boys have desires and the next time you take her with you, you dont need to be ashamed or come up with excuse.. Me: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Moral: To believe I learned most my ways by having ladyfriends... despite my parents... Mom and Dad overprotective? Good... trust me!

my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

Mario: Its a me Mario! Woman: Uhuh... Mario: Its a me Mario? Woman: Yeah you got a point? Mario: Okey dokey! Woman: So? Mario: Letsa go! Woman: Well okay, I mean chews bubblegum at least I know who you are and stuff... Moral: I once saw a red mushroom come out of a question block, so I just touch it with my Richard and... ...Wait ill take the green one, just in case, I good with what I have...

Every kiss begins with K ;) Yeah to bad ugly begins with U

Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. sneeze

haha

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch flushes the toilet

Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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