I think I shit myself

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Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

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I am typing it here for exposure which means I am no sellout because I admitt I sell out, just like I did not crash because I admitt I did. This one is real: Me meeting my childhood friend (a girl, with huge boobs... Which she had reduced because back problems... Fucking reduction pointless invention!) Tina: You where and will always be like a brother to me Nero. Me: Aww... Well... Tina: A fucking sexy brother back then... Well and now! Me: O_O. I am married, so I called my wife and asked if its okay, she said can I join? And well, why do you think I am so wired now... ROUND TWO... F*CK!

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Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

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I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

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i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

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Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

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I just killed my wife. What should I do?

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Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

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Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

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My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

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Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

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"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!