- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

Man: Wanna go to my home and have sex? Woman: Well... OK! Man: Wow you are easy!... wait! Where are you going? COME BACK! Moral: They are not easy, they just like a man with balls... and you where obviously not one of them... LAME OVER.

Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

Man: Would you like to dance? Woman: Hell No! Man: I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me. I said - You look fat in those pants!

Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: shatters Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book