- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

Man and woman in bed: Man: You know I am somewhat a deviant right? Woman: Sure but I am drunk so lets just do it.. Man: I AM SO GONNA BANG YOU! (Man throws dynamite at woman) Woman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU Moral: BANG INDEED... case closed.

I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

Male: Want to hear a story about my d--k? Nevermind, it's too long. Female: Want to hear a story about my vagina? Nevermind, you won't get it.

Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

I think I shit myself

Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

will you marry me

I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

I may have never fcked a 10 before, but I did fck five 2's.

Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book