Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

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Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

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Guy texting random girl: *u must b wearing space pants cuz ur a*s is out of this world *no im wearing baseball pants cuz my a*s is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

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Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

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Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

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M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

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Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

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- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! *Woman slams man with baseball bat* Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

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Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

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Eat me, I'm organic!

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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Woman: Hey hot stuff! Are you new around he... Man: Eh, I am not comfortable with women hitting on me, even hot ones like you, its just uh... awkward and... Woman: uh sorry, its not like I was hitting on you nor anything ;), Why dont you hit on me? Man: Uh... I err.. how you... uh... *the guy proceeds to stare at the floor for the next five minutes then runs out crying* Moral: NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD!

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? -That depends on the size of the rock. -You don't really get it, do you? -Get what?

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"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!