-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

thumb_up thumb_down -52

There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

thumb_up thumb_down +109

you look like my mother

thumb_up thumb_down +71

If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I'll eat your poop

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Man and woman in bed: Man: You know I am somewhat a deviant right? Woman: Sure but I am drunk so lets just do it.. Man: I AM SO GONNA BANG YOU! (Man throws dynamite at woman) Woman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU Moral: BANG INDEED... case closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Boy : Gurle: hi

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

thumb_up thumb_down -30

male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Me during the noob days at a bar: Me: So this is fun, want to go to my place and watch The Matrix trilogy all night or something? She: Naaah, I already watched them, but I am sure we can watch something else all night right? Me: Nah, you see I just moved in, and I don't have any other movies, so yeah nice meeting you though! *facepalm*

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Man: Wow girl, you are so hot you remind me of my wife when she was young.. wanna come to my place for a quick one before she comes back? Girl: Sigh... this AGAIN? I told you! If you are gonna get that drunk, get out of our home and go to a bar daddy!

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 *lies*

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Sorry Nero, this is still Golgo 12, I am trying to reach you here as the other place is down, I can see why some people consider you insane, sorry to admit I left the order by the time you left as well, Eliza was the only one that could keep up with your stuff, the rest well you know... So point zero is some kind of elysum now huh? For real? And you rule there? I mean I never doubted your wisdom, but six million people living some kinda new world order at point zero? Thats hard to believe.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!