The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

A man comes home from his doctor and tells his wife that he only has 12 hours to live so he asks his wife later that night if they can do it one last time she agrees but after an hour the man wakes his wife and says honey in a few hours I will be dead can we do it again please. So they do it again a few hours later the man wakes his wife again and says dearest since I'm going to die soon can we please? to this the wife says look honey tomorrow I have to get up you don't!

He says: Are you're from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. She says: Well, if we're making bad jokes: Are you from Illinois? Because you make me ill, and when I throw up from your face I'll make a lot of nois.

There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED. Originally Posted at: Collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

Girl, did it hurt when you got dragged up all the way from hell? Moral: The hell with morals!

Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

H3LL0 Girls, You need some THERAPEY? Call Nero The Moralman For A qualified TheRapist. The number? You wont get it, so then you will go mad with lust and need therapey Moral: Ooooh... I says ANTI Pickup line... Whats that? More Moral: Nothing is immoral! Everything is Moral MORAL MAN!

-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!