will you marry me

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what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

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Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

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HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

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-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

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Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

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Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

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Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! *walks away disgusted* Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

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why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

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I think I shit myself

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I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

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excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

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Me during the noob days at a bar: Me: So this is fun, want to go to my place and watch The Matrix trilogy all night or something? She: Naaah, I already watched them, but I am sure we can watch something else all night right? Me: Nah, you see I just moved in, and I don't have any other movies, so yeah nice meeting you though! *facepalm*

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I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

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I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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