If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

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- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

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Girl, did it hurt when you got dragged up all the way from hell? Moral: The hell with morals!

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At a bar: Hello! Moral: Keep the damn lines short! (A moral man original, not to be confused with the exploding bar or whoever put morals in their sstories, feel free to do so though! I mean anyone can see from the quality whose are mine ;)

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- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

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To my story below, I now remember why she never took me seriously... While I was staring at her erect nipples she asked me if I was gay, I replied "uhuh", to everything as I was too busy looking at what I could have grabbed that day... Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Today she looks uh... less appealing in more ways than one.... but lets not go into details, I need to get something out here... FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! In 40 years at my deathbed: The only thing I regret is... is... DAMN! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

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A man comes home from his doctor and tells his wife that he only has 12 hours to live so he asks his wife later that night if they can do it one last time she agrees but after an hour the man wakes his wife and says honey in a few hours I will be dead can we do it again please. So they do it again a few hours later the man wakes his wife again and says dearest since I'm going to die soon can we please? to this the wife says look honey tomorrow I have to get up you don't!

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Guy: I got you a gift. It's a Necklace. Girl: Awww thats so nice. Guy: BAZINGA Its my dick.

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Are you from Jamaica because I'm from Jamaica and I think I recognize you? Your ugly as hell by the way.

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-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

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How much does a polar bear weigh? What you don't know? In this day and age? Don't you have like google or something on your smart phone. geeeesh!

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

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Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! *walks away disgusted* Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

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Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

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-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

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Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

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Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

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Mario: Its a me Mario! Woman: Uhuh... Mario: Its a me Mario? Woman: Yeah you got a point? Mario: Okey dokey! Woman: So? Mario: Letsa go! Woman: Well okay, I mean *chews bubblegum* at least I know who you are and stuff... Moral: I once saw a red mushroom come out of a question block, so I just touch it with my Richard and... ...Wait ill take the green one, just in case, I good with what I have...

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Young man: Hey I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so I wondered if you wanna come home and have hardcore sex and... Mature woman: HOW CAN YOU SAY SUCH A THING! IM YOUR MOTHER! Young man: As I said mom... I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so... Moral: Hentai keeping families together since forever...

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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Man: Would you like to dance? Woman: Hell No! Man: I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me. I said - You look fat in those pants!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

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Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

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You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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