-If you are looking at a girl and she says What are you looking at? -I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh *blushing or something* Because it looks like you landed on your face.

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Drink this!

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You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

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-Excuse me do you know how much a polar bear weighs? -Enough to break the ice? -Ummm... yea... *silence*

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hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

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If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

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MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is *zip* FEMALE: *gurgle gurgle* *scream*

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-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

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McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

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Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

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Guy : Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Girl : No, why? Guy : Because I can totally see myself in your pants!

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are you on fire?

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M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

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M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

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- Can I have your number? - Sure. Twelve.

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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Girl, you must be a parking ticket. Because you got 'Please pay within 30 days. Failure to do so you will face prosecution at the local court.' written all over you.

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!