Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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How much does a polar bear weigh? What you don't know? In this day and age? Don't you have like google or something on your smart phone. geeeesh!

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Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

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Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

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Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

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Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 *lies*

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man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

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Man: Wow you are my cousin? Damn girl you are hot! I mean nothing wrong you know, I was just wondering if you wanna get a innocent cup of coffee Woman: Uh, thanks, but I have never met you... Man: Not my cousin? Bah, what a turnoff im outta here... Moral: Yeah moral... Pffft! You will have an easier time finding Waldo here.

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Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

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Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

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- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

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Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

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Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

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Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

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Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

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http://pirater-gratuit.fr hacker un compte fb

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Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

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Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

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- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

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Drunk woman enters what she thinks is a bar... (how original). "man gets close to her" Woman: You men are all dogs! Man: Bark bark! Woman: No need to get cheeky with me asshole! Man: Bark bark... Woman proceeds to pass out and wake up at a kennel... "Mandog": Bark bark. Moral: If you think every man is a dog, then you may just be bark barking the wrong tree... or place... I mean dont expect to find nice men at a dirty bar, and dont expect to find horny jerks at your church reunion. (A moral man original... and I actually like this one!)

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Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

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MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!