i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

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jack sanders

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Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

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I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

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How much does a polar bear weigh? What you don't know? In this day and age? Don't you have like google or something on your smart phone. geeeesh!

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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Guy: Hi, I am sexually attracted to you. May I walk over to the bar and purchase you a drink and then another and then another untill you become intoxicated and more likely to allow me to have sexual intercourse with you? Girl: You speak funny. Get lost.

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Every kiss begins with K ;) Yeah to bad ugly begins with U

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male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

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-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? -That depends on the size of the rock. -You don't really get it, do you? -Get what?

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

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At a bar: Hello! Moral: Keep the damn lines short! (A moral man original, not to be confused with the exploding bar or whoever put morals in their sstories, feel free to do so though! I mean anyone can see from the quality whose are mine ;)

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Man: Hey, I write the most perverted mini stories on ANTIPICKUPLINE ;) Any woman: ME SO HONNY ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME! Moral: Hentai keeping peop... never mind... not into animated cartoons DO YOU THINK I AM A PERVERT OR SOMETHING?.. cant help it that my mother looks like a damn hot pornstar though...

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

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Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

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Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

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Where have you been all my life?! Said the 78 year old alzheimers patient to his teary eyed wife of 50 years.

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girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

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WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED. Originally Posted at: Collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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