Boy: You remind me of the ocean Girl: Because I'm mysterious, adventurous, and romantic? Boy: No, because you make me sick

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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Shorts and pants compilation: Hey you a cheap prostitute or just out of my league? Hey mom I just watched some more hentai today and wonder if you would... Why are you screaming? Its just me naked with a boner! According to hentai its completely natural! I mean I am getting to do you when I turn eighteen right? No? You are a horrible mother! I am so telling dad you wont give it up! Bitch, you like men that beat you up while fucking you? You do? Oh, my! This is like too freaky too me! *runs out girlie screaming* Dad, I watched some other hentai today and, I wonder if you... Moral: *Pants*, there you go.

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Put the lotion on the skin!

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- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

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Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

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Hi! Do you like fat guys with no money?

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

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Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

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Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

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Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

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In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

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Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

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He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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Boy : Gurle: hi

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Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

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MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

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male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

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Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

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I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

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Man: Hey, I write the most perverted mini stories on ANTIPICKUPLINE ;) Any woman: ME SO HONNY ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME! Moral: Hentai keeping peop... never mind... not into animated cartoons DO YOU THINK I AM A PERVERT OR SOMETHING?.. cant help it that my mother looks like a damn hot pornstar though...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!