- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

thumb_up thumb_down

Hi! Do you like fat guys with no money?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Boy : Gurle: hi

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

thumb_up thumb_down -30

You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

thumb_up thumb_down -34

(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

thumb_up thumb_down -38

- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

As original as it gets: Domestical... Dog with a top hat and monocle: Yap Yap! *wiggles tail* woof woof! Dog?: MEOW!! HISS! *scratches dog and throws her drink at his face or you know... something that increases dramatic tension* and leaves. Dog: HOWL! *whimpers* :( *throws top hat away* Moral: They say every dog has his day, but I do not think this relationship was never meant to work out :(

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Boy: You remind me of the ocean Girl: Because I'm mysterious, adventurous, and romantic? Boy: No, because you make me sick

thumb_up thumb_down -18

-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

thumb_up thumb_down +93

He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -61

male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

thumb_up thumb_down -73

In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Handsome rich looking man: I would like to take you somewhere nice, maybe watch a movie at the cinema, then we could go to my place and have a romantic dinner.. finally... Girl: YES YES! Man: as I was saying... Finally I can make sweet love with your dog...if its fine by you... Girl: wtf?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!