Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

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- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

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Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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Boy: You remind me of the ocean Girl: Because I'm mysterious, adventurous, and romantic? Boy: No, because you make me sick

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Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? -That depends on the size of the rock. -You don't really get it, do you? -Get what?

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Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

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Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

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You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

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Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

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Hi! Do you like fat guys with no money?

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In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

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As original as it gets: Domestical... Dog with a top hat and monocle: Yap Yap! *wiggles tail* woof woof! Dog?: MEOW!! HISS! *scratches dog and throws her drink at his face or you know... something that increases dramatic tension* and leaves. Dog: HOWL! *whimpers* :( *throws top hat away* Moral: They say every dog has his day, but I do not think this relationship was never meant to work out :(

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MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

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Put the lotion on the skin!

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He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

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A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!