- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

Girl: If you was a rollercoaster...I'd ride you all day long.. Guy: What? Am I not big enough for you now...why can't you just be happy with me... =_= Girl: : / I was tring to be all sexy in a cute way... Guy: Pfft. FREAK... e_e

“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

Im tired of fapping... wanna help me get some variation?

Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

Woman: Seriously you are like the perfect man, I barely even met you and want to marry you already! What is your name by the way? Guy: My name is Le Petite Chessedeburger Withnowhitesauce! Woman: I am gay by the way, gotta go feed my uh... my wife yeah my wife.

Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book