I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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Girl: If you was a rollercoaster...I'd ride you all day long.. Guy: What? Am I not big enough for you now...why can't you just be happy with me... =_= Girl: : / I was tring to be all sexy in a cute way... Guy: Pfft. FREAK... e_e

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

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Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

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In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

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Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

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Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

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A couple wanted to try something different in the bedroom, The wife suggests they do it in a 69 position so they get into position but the wife lets one off in the husbands face she apologises and they try again when the wife farts again the husband gets up to leave and says no I don't think I can do this another 67 times!

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Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

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Boy : Gurle: hi

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(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

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-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

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Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

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Put the lotion on the skin!

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Tenth year anniversary female edition: Love, for each day my love grows stronger for you. Too bad honey, I married a old man and was hoping you would be dead by now. Oh! What a shock! Do you really mean that? Sigh... No, whispers: I was just hoping that would give you a stroke that's all) What was that last thing you said? Nothing "dear" Moral: Cyanide, just mash the seeds of six apples, use a syringe and presto! Dead family!

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Handsome rich looking man: I would like to take you somewhere nice, maybe watch a movie at the cinema, then we could go to my place and have a romantic dinner.. finally... Girl: YES YES! Man: as I was saying... Finally I can make sweet love with your dog...if its fine by you... Girl: wtf?

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Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

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Yo wazzup hoes? You knew black guys have the biggest dicks ever? ;) Uh, so what? You are white. Oh... yeah... Moral: Damn wiggers.

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Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!