- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

Man: How much does a polar bear weight? Girl: No idea... Man: Me either... By the way! Did you hear of the great blahblahblahblah that did blahalblahblah! Moral: Breaking the ice... easier than it seems...

- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

Tenth year anniversary Marriage. So what was your name again? Annoying Bitch? Old Hag? I forgot...

Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

Girl: Do you know any good movies? Boy: Snakes on a plane Girl: Whats it about? Boy: It's about Horses.. on a boat.

-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh

Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

Hi! Do you like fat guys with no money?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book