I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

A modified classic, props to the original poster: Man: Ask me out! Woman: Ok, get out! Man: No no, I said ASK me out. Woman: Okay... will you please get out? Man: No but thanks for asking me out, I am so gonna tell your friends how I rejected you asking me out. Moral: When beaten... THERE IS NO BEATING! If negative people can turn everything into a loss, thinking positive call help you turn anything into victory. I mean Hitler murdered millions right? Arent you happy (Jew or not), that it was not you? VICTORY! (if somehow Pyrrhic depending on how you turn on it... But if you wanna turn a gain to a pain, go ahead...)

Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED. Originally Posted at: Collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

Hi! Do you like fat guys with no money?

Every kiss begins with K ;) Yeah to bad ugly begins with U

If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

Im tired of fapping... wanna help me get some variation?

I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

At a bar: Hello! Moral: Keep the damn lines short! (A moral man original, not to be confused with the exploding bar or whoever put morals in their sstories, feel free to do so though! I mean anyone can see from the quality whose are mine ;)

It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

Man: Hey, I write the most perverted mini stories on ANTIPICKUPLINE ;) Any woman: ME SO HONNY ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME! Moral: Hentai keeping peop... never mind... not into animated cartoons DO YOU THINK I AM A PERVERT OR SOMETHING?.. cant help it that my mother looks like a damn hot pornstar though...

I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like O Mg.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!