man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

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Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

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If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

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Im tired of fapping... wanna help me get some variation?

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Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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A modified classic, props to the original poster: Man: Ask me out! Woman: Ok, get out! Man: No no, I said ASK me out. Woman: Okay... will you please get out? Man: No but thanks for asking me out, I am so gonna tell your friends how I rejected you asking me out. Moral: When beaten... THERE IS NO BEATING! If negative people can turn everything into a loss, thinking positive call help you turn anything into victory. I mean Hitler murdered millions right? Arent you happy (Jew or not), that it was not you? VICTORY! (if somehow Pyrrhic depending on how you turn on it... But if you wanna turn a gain to a pain, go ahead...)

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

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Hi! Do you like fat guys with no money?

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Every kiss begins with K ;) Yeah to bad ugly begins with U

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Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

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It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

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Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

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"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

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Moral man: Hey ladies... wanna read my "moral man original jokes?" then you are at the right place! Just scroll down the newest section and you will feel, insulted, charmed, happy, sad, and all that stuff you always wanted! Except beaten up... Moral man do other things to women... BTW I used to write comics (not draw them) for STUPIDO once... well I cant say more... Girl: "Reads": OMG I SO WANT YOU! Moral: If you are gonna like me less (or more) because of the "infomercial" nature of this anti-joke, then you must be the kind that yells to the TV a lot, and throw bricks at the television when it says "this show is presented by" So just do it, prove you are a nutcase, give me that luxury.

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Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

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Tenth year anniversary Marriage. So what was your name again? Annoying Bitch? Old Hag? I forgot...

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Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

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Man: Hey, I write the most perverted mini stories on ANTIPICKUPLINE ;) Any woman: ME SO HONNY ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME! Moral: Hentai keeping peop... never mind... not into animated cartoons DO YOU THINK I AM A PERVERT OR SOMETHING?.. cant help it that my mother looks like a damn hot pornstar though...

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Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!