roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

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Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

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man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

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You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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Drunk woman enters what she thinks is a bar... (how original). "man gets close to her" Woman: You men are all dogs! Man: Bark bark! Woman: No need to get cheeky with me asshole! Man: Bark bark... Woman proceeds to pass out and wake up at a kennel... "Mandog": Bark bark. Moral: If you think every man is a dog, then you may just be bark barking the wrong tree... or place... I mean dont expect to find nice men at a dirty bar, and dont expect to find horny jerks at your church reunion. (A moral man original... and I actually like this one!)

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If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

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Tenth year anniversary female edition: Love, for each day my love grows stronger for you. Too bad honey, I married a old man and was hoping you would be dead by now. Oh! What a shock! Do you really mean that? Sigh... No, whispers: I was just hoping that would give you a stroke that's all) What was that last thing you said? Nothing "dear" Moral: Cyanide, just mash the seeds of six apples, use a syringe and presto! Dead family!

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At a bar: Hello! Moral: Keep the damn lines short! (A moral man original, not to be confused with the exploding bar or whoever put morals in their sstories, feel free to do so though! I mean anyone can see from the quality whose are mine ;)

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Hi! Do you like fat guys with no money?

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Every kiss begins with K ;) Yeah to bad ugly begins with U

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Im tired of fapping... wanna help me get some variation?

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hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

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Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

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WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED. Originally Posted at: Collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

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I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

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Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

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Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

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"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

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It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

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Man: Hey, I write the most perverted mini stories on ANTIPICKUPLINE ;) Any woman: ME SO HONNY ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME! Moral: Hentai keeping peop... never mind... not into animated cartoons DO YOU THINK I AM A PERVERT OR SOMETHING?.. cant help it that my mother looks like a damn hot pornstar though...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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