good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

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Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

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- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

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hey bitch

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

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You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

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Me: it smells in here Her: its maybe my perfume! Me: no i let a glorious fart fallowed my an ass crapping on my foot

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You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

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Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

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Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

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Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

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Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

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"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

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hey you look like a good practice girl.

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Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

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- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

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How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

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Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!