- Anti-Pickup Line

Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

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-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

Get your coat love. I've got a knife

Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

-So, you wanna...? -I'm on my period.

-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

I've got candy.

At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

Nice hair, can I pull it?

have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

can i take a dump in your mouth?

Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

Male: I have a large penis female: so do i.

Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... stabs

At a cemetery: Girl: This place is so creepy at night... I should have left sooner... Man: RAWRGH! BRAAAAAAAAAAINS!!!!!!! Girl: EEEEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man takes off makeup and fake blood Man; Well, I guess that did not work... Moral: If they dont like you while you are alive, there are always un-dead options...

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!