Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

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If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

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Have you been followed? 'Cuz i've been seeing people behind your back.

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him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

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So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

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Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

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At a bar. M: I so wanna sex you! W: What? :) M: What part of sex did you not get? VAGINA! W: You have problems with your heart? (angina) :( M: Stop screwing with me bitch! W: I dont have no itch... :/ *The man gets insulted and leaves* Woman: Cute guy, I wish I wasn't nearly deaf though... Moral "patience is a virtue?" Hell no! The guy got laid with 6 women that day so the moral is "The more people listen to what you have to say, the more you will get laid this day, and a deaf woman is a challenge if she aint your way"

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Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

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How much do you like peanut butter?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

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Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

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*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

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—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure *passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away* The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

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-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

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i am with stupid l l l \/

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Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

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-Hey, do you have a cat? -Why do you ask? -Because I'd love to pet your pussy. -Well, that makes two of us.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!