Still a better love story than Twilight

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Man: Hey is your name Zelda? Woman: Huh? What kind of stupid name is THAT! Man: EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME PRINCESS! Woman: What a dork... Moral: The man did not link with the woman that night... nor ever it seems...

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Nice legs what time do they open

thumb_up thumb_down -107

-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

thumb_up thumb_down +127

- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

thumb_up thumb_down +117

Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +93

can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

thumb_up thumb_down +164

*on Halloween* Male: My name's Dick, and you're a very pretty PUSSY-cat. Female: I'll cut off your penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +207

Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

thumb_up thumb_down -96

when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

thumb_up thumb_down -106

-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +95

-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Her: Are you from China? Because I’m China get your number Him: Tibet you are. But I'm not Russian into anything, sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Hey wanna smash pissers?

thumb_up thumb_down -117

- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

thumb_up thumb_down +168

Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

thumb_up thumb_down -102

-Are you an angel? -Yeah...actually I am. I remember you-aren't you the guy that fell out of heaven? So THAT'S why your face is so screwed up.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

thumb_up thumb_down -117

In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: Seriously just give up, this must be the worst "pickupline" ever

thumb_up thumb_down +98

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!