- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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Man at bar: Hey girls... want my banana in your pajamas? ;) ;) ;) Girls: YEAH! Man: "thinks for himself..."... man I never get this reaction from girls.. you are a bunch of skanks and sluts... (leaves the bar) In the end, we are never happy with what we get are we? yeah... this is kinda the moral of this story... (Ps: My banana in your pajamas... I got a girlfriend, but someday Im gonna try that pick up line... hahahaha

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-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

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You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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hey, your cute. hey, your not.

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Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

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Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!