Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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Actor walks in street... Woman: HEY ITS YOU! THE GUY THAT PLAYED GANDALF THE GAY!... Uh I mean Gandalf the GRAY! Actor: WRONG WOMAN! I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNETISM! Moral: Please take no insult Esteemed Mr.Ian McKellen you are a fantastic actor... as for the rest of you, feel free to feel as insulted as you want... I mean its your own trucking choice :P.

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Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

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Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

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You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

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This one is for the ladies: Man: If I could put 6 and 9 on my calculator we would have the greatest time ever ;) Woman: If you did that id just put 911 on my cellphone.

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Guy: Hey, cutie! What's your name? Girl: JOHN CENA.

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Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

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-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

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As original as things get: Pickup in the future! Android: Greetings Alpha six zero zero,requesting access code for insertion of my intercourse-D.I.C.K card into your V.A.G 2.0 intercourse receiver! Another Android: Access granted Zero six nine eight, engaging card...System! Deactivate mini-android production systems and engage cooldown systems to avoid critical overheats, lubricate essentials for easy access, I have no entry code, engage at once! Moral: I honestly thought it would end up in failure, but damn androids are easy!

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Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

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Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

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Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!