A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

Hey baby that dress is amazing! It would look even better as a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor!

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

How much does a polar bear weigh? On average 1135 lbs.

Have you met Ted?

Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

Lesbihonest

Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

The return of everyone`s pimps pimp! Pimp: Amma so cool I can piss on this electric fence no problemo! Pzzzzzzzzz.. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA... Moral: Its better to end a sucky character early, am I right or am I right? Thumb me down if I am right...;) Ps: His name was Tyrese Whiner XD you can read his fantastic anti-joke some pages down or whatever...

Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

Yo girl... My feelings keep growing, I just have to say it, but it might be too soon, it might even risk our friendship. Awww, just say it. Ok girl, I hate you more for every day, you fucking ugly bitch, if it where not for your money, id leave right away. Moral: Its not about what you want, its about what you need, therefore I decided I only need whatever I want, case closed.

Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

You look like a dog... Wana bone?

Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

Guy on phone:ok im on my way. Other guy:who was that,your mom? Guy on phone:no yours. (this is not mine ,its from Cyanide en Happines).

You're hot, I'm ugly. Lets make average babies.

Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!