He:*walks over* She: What is it now? He:*Unzips fly.* She : OH DEAR CHRIST NO

Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

Wanna have sex?

-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

I put the STD in Stud all I need is U

Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

Sex?

"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

Hello, it's nice to meet you.

Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

Babe, you Jewish? cuz your on FIRE!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!