you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

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Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Golf.

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I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

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why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

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guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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Man: You got such beautiful eyes... they are so round and sensual, so full of life and bouncy and... Woman: Those are not my eyes! Man: TITS! I meant TITS! Damn I thought I had screwed up my chance to pound you`re ass for a second there... PHEW!

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

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Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

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hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!