Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

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Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

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Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

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Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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Golf.

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I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

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-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Man: You got such beautiful eyes... they are so round and sensual, so full of life and bouncy and... Woman: Those are not my eyes! Man: TITS! I meant TITS! Damn I thought I had screwed up my chance to pound you`re ass for a second there... PHEW!

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Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

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guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

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hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!