Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

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- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

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As long as I have a face, you will always have a place to sit.

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange

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You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

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My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

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Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

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Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

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-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

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Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

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Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

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Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

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Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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Wanna have sex?

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!