Hello, it's nice to meet you.

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"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

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M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

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Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

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Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

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Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

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At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

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-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

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My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

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do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

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Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

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Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

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If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

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This doesn't have to be a rape.

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

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I put the STD in Stud all I need is U

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!