- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

Okay, I lied, the one below actually kinda works, people get impressed, it is quite the accomplishment you know... But since I am gonna get married soon I don't pick up as much as I should anyways. Moral: Man

did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

Male: You are a Drugs? Female: Why? because your so addicted to me? Male: Nope, You ruined my life!

-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

Hey... wanna hang out with a guy that thumbs ups his own comments? ;)

Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

If your happy and you know it clap your hands!! What if I lost my hands in Nam while I was singing this song and a plane killed my friend causing me to ct off both of my hands?

-Hey, is there a fire extinguisher around here? 'Cause you're smoking hot. -Actually, there IS a fire extinguisher. I was about to slam you in the face with it.

sound of zipper

Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

How you doin? go away- I have a gun

Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

He: You're as pretty as a picture. She: Thank you. He: Unfortunately, it's a picture of shit. She: -__-

Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

It rubs the lotion onto it's skin

In a loud bar: Man: Do you enjoy gRape? Woman: HOW DARE YOU YOU PERVERT! Man: Uh... how about raisins then... Woman: Err... can you repeat that first question again... Moral: I would but I would have to bypass the censorship somehow...

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book